There are several opinions on being a "good" parent - you must be present, always engage your children, cherish each moment - and the list goes on. Now, nothing is wrong with these ideas, but we must remember that a part of helping parents cope means encouraging them to rest, relax and reset... we all need a break.
Parenting hits you hard, and the innate need to cater to your child's every beck and call can quickly cause burnout and lead to an exhausted mom or dad. This is why you need to pay attention to your wellbeing and schedule those quality minutes with yourself - your me time.
What is 'me time'?
As the name suggests 'me time' is the time you spend catering to yourself. Dictionary.com takes it a step further noting that it involves only doing things that you want to do. It is not the hurried shower you take while someone keeps the baby, or the quick shampoo you do in the shower to clear the gunk from your hair. Real 'me time' means being intentional about scheduling time to enjoy your own company and doing something you like.
It is so easy to lose yourself in the ideology of being a good parent. As a new millennial mom, I have struggled with balancing spending enough time with my daughter and not losing myself in the process. I constantly need to remind myself that I am more than a mom, and I have interests; interests outside of Blippi and Bluey might I add.
Why is 'me time' important for parents?
It is important to engage in me time as parents as it helps you to restore your sense of identity, makes you feel good about yourself and causes you to forget about the stresses of parenthood. I believe these help to preserve your mental wellness and gives you the patience to navigate being mommy and daddy.
Don't neglect yourself. Burnout is real, and can be way more debilitating if you are a parent, because with it comes the guilt that you are screwing things up. Me-time for parents is not selfish, it is not neglectful or bad parenting, but it is quite necessary to maintain the right balance in a home positively impact a parent/child relationship.
'Me time' ideas for parents
So, even if it is a break for a couple hours, both you and your spouse (or the other person on this journey with you) should be able to cover for each other. If it is a break for both of you, you can rely on the people within your circle to keep your child/ren for some time so you two can reconnect.
Whatever the case, I implore you to take that break and spend the time doing something that brings you peace and steadies your mind.
Here is a list of activities you could do to help centre you during your time alone:
Go for a run or walk
Take a drive alone around the community
Watch a movie or catch up on you favourite television series
Plan a spa day/day of pampering
Read a book or sit in the car with noise-cancelling headphones and a good audiobook
Plan a weekend getaway for you and bae
Just be… DO NOTHING
Take up a hobby
Spend some time journaling
Sit outside alone
Final Thoughts: Do what it takes to take care of you
As with any job, self care is just as important when you are a parent. Take the time you need to unwind and recharge. By helping yourself, you are helping your baby in the long run. We must remember that just as how we are pouring into our children to help them develop into well-thinking adults, we need to pour into ourselves as well. As the old adage says, "you can't pour from an empty cup".
Your me time may look different than mine, but as long as you are intentional about finding the space to recharge and spend some uninterrupted time with your thoughts, that is good.
What do you like to do during your me time? Share it in the comments section below!